Live in harmony with yourself - program with Olga Berg

Three kinds of business
"I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God's. (For me, the word God means "reality." Reality is God, because it rules. Anything that's out of my control, your control, and everyone else's control—
I call that God's business.)"
Byron Katie
The Work is a meditative practice
PROGRAM FOR THE DAY
EXERCISE "WHOSE BUSINESS YOU'RE IN MENTALLY"
"Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business.

When I think, "You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you need to take better care of yourself," I am in your business. When I'm worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die, I am in God's business. If I am mentally in your business or in God's business, the effect is separation.

I noticed this early in 1986. When I mentally went into my mother's business, for example, with a thought like "My mother should understand me," I immediately experienced a feeling of loneliness. And I realized that every time in my life that I had felt hurt or lonely, I had been in someone else's business.

If you understand the three kinds of business enough to stay in your own business, it could free your life in a way that you can't even imagine. The next time you're feeling stress or discomfort, ask yourself whose business you're in mentally, and you may burst out laughing! That question can bring you back to yourself. And you may come to see that you've never really been present, that you've been mentally living in other people's business all your life. Just to notice that you're in someone else's business can bring you back to your own wonderful self.

And if you practice it for a while, you may come to see that you don't have any business either and that your life runs perfectly well on its own."

From Byron Katie's book "Loving What Is"

Your task: notice the moments during the day when you feel stress or discomfort, ask yourself at this moment whose business you're in mentally.
Place observations and discoveries in the group.

Exercises

Diary of your stressful moments.

Write down the moment
During the day, notice the moments when you experienced discomfort. Take short notes (you can write in the phone or on a piece of paper).
For example: "In the morning, on the phone, annoyed at a colleague" or "I go into the room, I see scattered things", "In the store at the ticket office," etc. Just notice what and at what moment caused your reaction. Write down and continue to do your own thing.

Identify the source
Once a day, go through this list and formulate the statements according to the principle:
"I .... (emotion) ... on ........., because ......."
For example: I'm annoyed at the cashier, because she ignores me, etc.

Whose business you're in mentally?
In the same list, go through the statements. Which you wrote above (in stressful moments). Write about each: whose affairs did you do at that moment?
For example:
At the cash desk - by the affairs of the cashier
When I thought that the boss displeased me - the affairs of the head
Etc.

Do the same with the list of people whose relationship you would like to improve (button below)

Notice when your thoughts go into the affairs of other people, and return yourself to your own. In which case do you experience stress?
Write in the discoveries and observations.

Write down your discoveries and observations in the journal.

Olga Berg
Course Leader
To think that I know what's best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety, and fear. Do I know what's right for me? That is my only business. Let me work with that before I try to solve your problems for you.
— Byron Katie
Anna Pavlova
"Without charge, shouting, insults, 4 hours passed in the brother's apartment. Without the desire to justify yourself and your life. Without interruptions »
Yesterday my brother went to visit. We did not see each other for 10 months. Usually we cursed on the phone, tried to explain in correspondence, taught how to live with each other ... I came, and there our mother helps with her grandson - 11 months, the second son of brother and wife, was sick. And now the brother tells her about suicide, sin, drug addicts and alcoholics, that she refuses to live. He talks about Putin, Trump, about their health, but all because they go in for sports and do not drink.
From the outside everything is clear. I myself am. I tried to teach people how to live. Thought in my head: "Whose business are I doing right now?". I asked my mother to include awareness, I say: "My right foot, my left foot, I stand, I hold the child."
The brother loudly explains to us how to live, about the length of hair at the priests, about why women in pants and with short hair. "Whose business is he doing at this moment?" - as everything is obvious from the outside.
Video made, did not quarrel, although he grumbled, explained how to do. I showed the video how people come to order a site and what they are "moron" - all.
... I know that my mother then went and bought herself alcohol - her psyche can not cope. Yes, she does not want to. Does not want to live long, many years. And now, when the body hurts, the legs hurt, money is not enough, the children are "moron" and even more so.
I see her depressed. And I'm learning to thank for the love that she shows, contrary to her diagnoses and mood. And I'm afraid that at one point she can not cope. But while she's here, I'll go make her a massage))
    Elena Hristich
    "I realized that my father is not enough in my life"
    And it always irritated me that my dad, having smoked in the toilet, often left ashes on the seat. It really made me mad. But then I go to the toilet and see again this ash, but I'm all filled with tenderness and warmth for some reason. It was like the trick of a child who wants only to be noticed.

    I realized that my father is not enough in my life, we do not talk much, and this ash as a sign that he is, he unconsciously speaks of his presence - this is the very manifestation of life.
    Ivlieva Julia
    "Participation in the program gradually taught me a new attitude to life and to people, helped to move away from old stereotypes"
    The Certification program is a plague experience of deep immersion in practice, a constant experience of training attention to internal processes. And this is practice, practice and practice of 350 hours.

    Now, when I'm conducting my first seminar in life, I notice how many things are reproduced automatically inside of me - to notice thoughts, motives, ask 4 questions, hear a pop-up additional, dive into silence.

    Participation in the program gradually taught me a new attitude to life and to people, helped to move away from old stereotypes accumulated over 40 years and to form others, more kind to themselves and others. And all this thanks to the constant presence in this rut, a constant practice.

    After completing this program and continuing to practice "Work" I hear again and again within me. Thank you!
    If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine? We're both over there. Being mentally in your business keeps me from being present in my own. I am separate from myself, wondering why my life doesn't work.
    — Байрон Кейти
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